Arielle Galinsky has one regret that you might relate to; she missed her chance to hear the life story of a grandparent. Both of her grandfathers, whom she calls her rock stars, died when she was just 10 years old.
“I had always held this sense of deep frustration … that I hadn’t taken the time to listen to their histories,” she said. “And I’ve come to realize that this was not something that was only my story, that there were a lot of other younger adults who haven’t had the opportunity to ask their own loved ones about their life histories.”
Now, at 23, she’s helping college students build meaningful connections with older people in their communities through a nonprofit she co-founded called The Legacy Project.
The idea first sprouted when Galinsky was a high school student in Massachusetts, but it blossomed when she started college at Tufts University.
The Legacy Project matches student participants with older adults to conduct interviews over 10 weeks. Eventually, their responses are made into a book.
“So the intergenerational nature of our project really emphasizes that it’s mutually beneficial, that both the student and senior pair have the opportunity to learn from one another,” Galinsky said. “It’s not just a one-time meeting. Students and the older adults that they get matched with have the opportunity to build that connection and actually foster a friendship.”
Galinsky said the students start out using a guide of suggested questions to ask about their senior partner’s life story.
“Everything from ‘When was your first kiss? ‘ to ‘When did you get married?’ to, you know, talk about your career and your family and what matters most,” she said. “And the end … the questions really focus on legacy building … How do you want your story to be remembered and told, and what are you most proud of in your life?”
Galinsky said these friendships not only help younger and older adults combat feelings of isolation and loneliness, but they can also help bridge divides.
“In this time in this era of polarization, being able to connect generational divides allows you to better understand differences and other perspectives,” she said.
The Legacy Project now has chapters at college campuses around the country.
Lauren Paterson, 20, is finishing up her studies at Kent State to become a nursing home administrator. Last year, Paterson was paired with a former teacher named Marc Myers, now a resident of Maplewood Senior Living in Cuyahoga Falls.
“I’m a pretty open person and my parents always taught me to do the right thing and to help people, and when it was explained to me what was going on and what they were doing, I decided, sure, why not?” Myers said.
Paterson said it was a pleasure and an honor to spend time together.
“It really was more than just a project to me … we built a strong friendship,” she said. “Even after the project, we’ve met up a couple times.”
Myers can’t recall the exact details of their interactions, but overall, he said he enjoyed the experience.
“I have Alzheimer’s disease, and the bad thing about Alzheimer’s is you can’t remember the good things,” he said.
One thing that resonated for Paterson in Myers’ life story was when he told her his greatest accomplishments were accepting God into his life and when his wife said yes to his marriage proposal. Paterson calls Myers a gentleman and a romantic, recalling how he and his wife managed a long-distance relationship for a couple of years of their life together.
“Whenever he would drive up to meet with her, he would stop at the floral shop and buy her a long-stemmed rose,” Paterson said. “So I thought that was really sweet … I mean he was a regular at a floral shop … and I think that’s a great way that any individual should be treated in a relationship, but it also sets the tone for how I should be treated by my significant other.”
Hearing Paterson recall that story made Myers emotional. He expressed his gratitude to her.
“Lauren, I really appreciate the words that you’ve just given us, and it brings tears to my eyes to think that people like you work so hard to help people like us and people that will be like us have a better life,” he said.
Galinsky said stories like these resonate with participants who often maintain friendships beyond the actual project. She hopes these relationships can also raise awareness about issues facing older and aging populations.
“I think that’s a really important perspective to have, that in 50, 60 years, this is going to be us too,” Galinsky said. “The issues and obstacles that some of our senior matches are sharing are the same ones that we’re going to face, and our parents are going to face. And so it brings a sense of understanding that I think might not be clear to students before partaking in this initiative.”
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This article was originally published on WBUR.org.
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