Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Jun 29, 2019
Originally published on July 1, 2019 1:20 pm
Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Faith each have two. And Luke has three.

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Faith has elected to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, special counsel blank agreed to publicly testify to Congress in July.

FAITH SALIE: Robert Mueller.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the White House announced a new round of sanctions against blank.

SALIE: Oh, Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the House Oversight Committee approved a subpoena for White House counselor blank.

SALIE: Kellyanne Conway.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following a decision from the Supreme Court regarding a citizenship question, Trump threatened to delay the blank.

SALIE: Census.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a cashier at a Houston Subway sandwich shop wouldn't give two robbers all the money in the register, the thieves made off with blank.

SALIE: Foot - feet-long sandwiches.

SAGAL: No, one stolen cookie.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, San Francisco voted to ban the sale of blank.

SALIE: Oh, e-cigarettes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following a harrowing ordeal...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A British couple is free after being held hostage for six days by a gang of blank.

SALIE: Dormice.

SAGAL: No, seagulls.

SALIE: Wow.

SAGAL: After the pair of seagulls nested on the couple's roof, they became so territorial that anytime the homeowners tried to leave, the birds would attack them until they went back inside.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The couple contacted local officials, but wildlife laws mean the gulls are protected and unable to be moved. In addition, the law states that the birds have the right to rummage through the couple's fridge and get to choose what the four of them watch on Netflix every night.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz? I thought she did quite well.

KURTIS: Pretty good. Five right, 10 more points. And a total of 12 puts her in the lead.

SAGAL: Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, John Sanders, the acting commissioner of blank, announced plans to step down.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I don't know. The Border Patrol.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Senator Bernie Sanders proposed a plan to eliminate all $1.6 trillion of blank.

POUNDSTONE: College debt.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, former Trump campaign chair blank pled not guilty to fraud charges in New York.

POUNDSTONE: Manafort.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Japan's high-speed rail system suffered significant delays across the country thanks to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Slugs.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A single slug, in fact, on the tracks. On Tuesday, gun lobbying group blank severed ties with their PR firm and halted operation on their TV network.

POUNDSTONE: The NRA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A fisherman in Michigan got more than he bargained for...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...When he caught fish that had blank attached to it.

POUNDSTONE: A fish that had his wedding ring.

SAGAL: A fish that had...

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: ...A wedding ring, which is very good. It wasn't his. But yes.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I thought it was his.

SAGAL: It was originally a mystery why the steelhead trout had a wedding ring tied to it. It turns out the ring belonged to another fisherman who was looking for a poetic way to celebrate his divorce. Unfortunately...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's true. Unfortunately, thanks to maritime law, the man who found it is now obligated to marry the fish.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do? I think she did really well.

KURTIS: Six right, 12 more points, 14 and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Woah. How many does Luke Burbank need to win?

KURTIS: He needs six to win. We'll count them out together.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Luke.

LUKE BURBANK: I - the time that I should have been reading the news this week I was looking for the best vegetarian cheesesteak in Philadelphia. And I found it. And it was delicious. It left me very little time, though, for reading the news.

SAGAL: I understand.

BURBANK: I just want to say that in advance.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Luke. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, it was announced that Melania Trump's spokesperson Stephanie Grisham would become the next blank.

BURBANK: White House spokesperson.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the state of Oklahoma filed suit against Johnson and Johnson for its part in the blank crisis.

BURBANK: Smallpox crisis.

SAGAL: No, the opioid crisis. This week, a 10th American tourist died while on vacation in blank.

BURBANK: The Dominican Republic.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Catholic bishop in Colombia announced that there was so much evil in his town that he plans to blank.

BURBANK: Move to Las Vegas.

SAGAL: No, plans to dump gallons of holy water on it from a helicopter.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Illinois became the 11th state to legalize the sales of recreational blank.

BURBANK: Cannabis.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a woman bought a jar of relish...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...At a British grocery store with the expiration date of 20140, a British supermarket explained blank.

BURBANK: That she should have gone to Wawa.

SAGAL: No, that they...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You suck-up. No, they explained that they happened to be using the ancient Roman Calendar for their expiration dates.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The supermarket shopper couldn't make sense of the bizarre five-digit expiration date on her jar of relish. And the store happily explained they were simply using the Julian calendar, which was developed by Julius Caesar and hasn't been used in 500 years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No one knows why they're using that system, but I'd start by asking that one guy in the stock room wearing a toga.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Luke do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got three.

SAGAL: Oh, boy.

BURBANK: Ouch.

KURTIS: Six more pounds, total of nine. But he couldn't catch Paula. Paula. Paula, the win.

SAGAL: Paula.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.