Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Limericks

Jun 22, 2019
Originally published on June 22, 2019 10:31 am
Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But, first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows on the road this Thursday at the Mann Center in Philadelphia and July 18 at the Blossom Music Center just outside of Cleveland in Cuyahoga National Park.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

RENEE OWENS: Hi, everybody. This is Renee, and I'm calling from Alpine, Calif.

SAGAL: Now, where's Alpine?

OWENS: It's about a half hour east of San Diego.

SAGAL: Oh, up in the hills there. It's beautiful there. What do you do there?

OWENS: Well, I'm a wildlife biologist, so I get to wander around looking for endangered creatures. And sometimes, I muck about South American swamps studying big ones like crocodiles and anacondas.

SAGAL: That's cool.

PETER GROSZ: Wow.

GROSZ: Yeah.

GROSZ: I like that do you call it mucking about, too.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Renee, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: All pups look so cute and so wise. It's not just their sweet little size. It's one little look, and I'm deeply shook. They've got those adorable...

OWENS: Eyes.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Yes, it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Oh, you'll be interested in this as a biologist. A new study suggests that domesticated dogs have evolved the ability to sort of raise their eyebrows to make those so-called puppy dog eyes at their owners. Their findings were published in the journal Who's A Good Scientist.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's right. You are.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Now, we're talking about, like, that classic puppy dog look, the look when they're like, oh, please love me - that look. They found that dogs and gray wolves have very similar anatomy, but wolves lack those special eye muscles that allow dogs to do that eyebrow thing. This is why we like dogs and fear wolves apart from the constantly trying to kill us thing.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: These wolves - that's why wolves are, well, we don't have the puppy dog eyes. What's our other option? I guess we should try to eat them.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: Definitely eating.

GROSZ: Just go - let's just go in the whole other direction - right. And that way that'll be our thing. And they'll do the cute thing.

SAGAL: Yeah.

FELBER: Like, socially, we can't compete.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: I feel, like, good about - I feel good about if we have fangs. I think we're in the right area.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: This is good.

FELBER: We already travel in a pack.

SAGAL: (Laughter) Yeah.

FELBER: Let's hunt.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: For fried food with glazing, we go nuts. The hole in the middle's a slow cut. The Bronze Age did sing of the powerful ring. We just found the world's oldest...

OWENS: Donut.

SAGAL: Donut.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Archaeologists in Austria may have discovered the first ever donut. The archaeologists believe a Bronze Age baker made the, quote, "ring-shaped loaves" - which is really impressive. Archaeologists found the whole lot in the container marked really, really, really Krispy Kremes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But it's one - I mean, how many years after early man discovered the donut did they realize they'd also discovered the wheel?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Somebody is like, hey, pass me a donut and he drops it and it rolls in the ground. And somebody's like whoa now we have a way to go get more donuts.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: We should put a cart on four donuts.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Once it's born, who will he, she or they be? Well, not Adolph, but Jupiter? Maybe. They'll need someone to blame so put us in the game. If you pay us, we'll name your new...

OWENS: Oh, gosh. Baby.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Online baby naming company Future Perfect takes the stress out of naming your child by letting you hand it over to a complete stranger.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That sounds like a good idea until you realize the company makes all of its money selling ads. Welcome to the world, Wild Cherry Pepsi Jones.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For $100, the company's founders will brainstorm names with you for 15 minutes - 15 minutes. And for $350, they'll also provide you with a list of 10 potential first names and 10 potential middle names. But granted, it is technically a tech startup. So they'll probably just name your baby something weird with no vowels.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is little baby Nxm (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: That's as ridiculous as letting your phone tell you when to go to sleep.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Imagine giving that kind of power to some anonymous electronic force.

(LAUGHTER).

SAGAL: Yeah. Bill, how did Renee do on our quiz?

FELBER: (Laughter).

KURTIS: Well, Renee's going to have a good time on those wildlife explorations because she got them all right.

(APPLAUSE)

OWENS: Yay.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

OWENS: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing. Bye-bye.

OWENS: Thank you, guys.

(SOUNDBITE OF IAN BERNARD'S "INQUISITIVE TANGO") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.