Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Limericks

Apr 6, 2019
Originally published on April 6, 2019 10:14 am
Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in St. Louis, Mo. on May 9. And if you'd love to experience the thrill of WAIT WAIT without going anywhere, check out our new interactive quiz for your smart speaker. Just say, open the Wait Wait Quiz, and you can talk directly to Bill and myself, and we will talk back. You can even win the voice of your choice for your voicemail playing that game.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

HILLARY JERICHO: Hi, Peter. It's Hillary Jericho from Chicago, Ill.

SAGAL: Hey, Chicago.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: What do you do here in the finest city in the world?

JERICHO: I'm a pediatric gastroenterologist down at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital.

SAGAL: Oh, that's good work.

(CHEERING)

JERICHO: Thank you.

SAGAL: And you live down there in Hyde Park.

JERICHO: We actually live in the South Loop - pretty close the Soldier Field.

SAGAL: Oh, OK. So you can...

JERICHO: Yeah.

SAGAL: You can watch all the drunk people leaving. That's exciting.

JERICHO: Actually, amazingly, Peter, we saw you walk by our house one night while we were...

(LAUGHTER)

PETER GROSZ: Busted.

SAGAL: I hope I wasn't singing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Hillary.

JERICHO: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

JERICHO: I am.

SAGAL: All right. Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: To ruthless, blood-sucking banditos, we humans are just big burritos. But play them some Skrillex, and they will not drill-ex. It kills food and sex for...

JERICHO: Mosquitos.

SAGAL: Yes, mosquitos.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Deejay Skrillex is apparently a real buzz-kill. According to researchers, Skrillex's EDM track "Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites" has been linked to declined mosquito mating rates.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The song, which if you haven't heard it - and let's be honest. None of you have heard it...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Mixes high and low frequencies, distracting mosquitoes from their usual hobbies of blood-sucking and getting it on. It isn't that they hate Skrillex music. This is the thing - it's not like it's driving them away. They love it. They're, quote, "entertained by it, which means they attacked hosts less often than those in a dubstep-free environment"...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Unquote.

TOM BODETT: So even mosquitoes are having less sex.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Especially millennial mosquitoes.

BODETT: (Laughter) Yeah.

SAGAL: All right, Hillary. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Since moon rocks are easy to scoop, old waste we will try to recoup. We're paying the piper by bringing home diapers. We'll go back to pick up our...

JERICHO: Poop - a perfect one for a gastroenterologist.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You're absolutely right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to Vox, the Apollo 11 astronauts left 96 bags of human waste up on the moon. Now we know why there's a dark side of the moon.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Humans have been blasting things into space for years now, like songs by Mozart and Bach, photographs and apparently our poop. Scientists want to go back to pick up the moon poop to research how living microbes have fared in space over the last 45 years or so.

GROSZ: Oh.

SAGAL: Buzz Aldrin, one of the first people on the Moon, himself tweeted this week, I sure feel bad for whoever finds my bag.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Really. I mean, after, like, four days of Tang...

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODETT: And...

(LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: But you said 96 bags.

SAGAL: Ninety six bags.

ROBERTS: That's a lot...

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: ...I mean, if you stop and really think about it.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODETT: Let's not.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Hillary. Here's your last limerick.

KURTIS: It's quite an upbeat epilogue. They've found me a mate in a bog. I've got an amphibian reason to live again. I'm no longer the loneliest...

JERICHO: Frog.

KURTIS: Frog it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes - frog it is.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Back in January, we told you all about Romeo, the so-called world's loneliest frog, thought to be the last Sehuencas water frog. He lived in isolation for 10 years. But an expedition to Bolivia found Romeo his Juliet and also another frog that secretes a poison that makes it seem like you're dead when you're really not. But I'm sure nothing bad will come of that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The two frogs have hit it off. They're now living together. They're even trying to mate, though Romeo, quote, "needs more practice."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's understandable. They might have some trouble given that Romeo has been alone for 10 years. And also, there's a little bit of pressure - all these scientists are staring at them going, hey, guys. Start doing it, or your species will die out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Hillary do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Hillary's very good, very smart. She got all three right.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I expect no less. Thanks so much for playing.

JERICHO: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LET'S GET IT ON")

MARVIN GAYE: (Singing) Let's get it on. Oh, baby, let's get it on.

(SOUNDBITE OF FROG CROAKING) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.