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Lightning Fill In The Blank

May 4, 2019
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game - Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: We have a three-way tie. Everyone has three.

SAGAL: All right. They're all tied at three. I am going to arbitrarily decide that Petey, you're going to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House asked Congress for an additional $4.5 billion to address issues at the blank.

PETEY DEABREU: Opera?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At the border. This week, WikiLeaks founder blank was sentenced to 50 weeks in prison for jumping bail in the U.K.

DEABREU: Putin?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

PETER GROSZ: That's close.

SAGAL: That's close. Julian Assange. According to a poll released on Thursday, blank has a 26-point lead in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination.

DEABREU: Biden.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: (Laughter).

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Among the memorabilia on sale for this weekend's Kentucky Derby race is a $200 blank.

DEABREU: Saddle?

SAGAL: No. Jar...

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Of a previous Derby-winning horse's poop.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "The Ferryman" led the nominations for the 2019 blank awards.

DEABREU: Tonys.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A beloved parrot at a zoo in Brazil was attracting new visitors...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After it was revealed he survived blank.

DEABREU: "The Avengers: Endgame"?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The parrot survived being caught in a shootout, bitten by a snake and kidnapped by poachers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Freddy the parrot is either the luckiest or unluckiest bird in the world. He was brought to the zoo after getting caught in a shootout between his former drug-dealing owners and police. Once at the zoo, he was bitten by a giant snake and, a few days after that, kidnapped by exotic animal sellers. He's been recovered. And to relax, he's looking forward to going on a wonderful cruise with a bunch of Scientologists.

(LAUGHTER)

DEABREU: Measles is going to take him out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Petey do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Petey got two right, four more points and is in the lead with seven.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Peter, I'm going to have you go next...

GROSZ: Great.

SAGAL: ...On - fill in the blank, Peter. On Wednesday, the Trump administration filed a request to a federal appeals court to strike down the entirety of blank.

GROSZ: The - Obamacare.

SAGAL: Right. On Monday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...The White House ordered tougher restrictions on people seeking blank.

GROSZ: Visas?

SAGAL: Asylum in this case.

GROSZ: Oh, asylum. Right, right, right.

SAGAL: On Thursday, Stephen Moore withdrew from consideration for the blank.

GROSZ: (Laughter) The Fed.

SAGAL: Yeah, Federal Reserve Board.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Over 800,000 people were told to evacuate as a giant cyclone headed toward blank.

GROSZ: My house?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: India. Best known for "Boyz N The Hood," Oscar-nominated director blank passed away this week at the age of 51.

GROSZ: John Singleton.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following their NCAA win, the University of Virginia men's basketball team declined an invitation to blank.

GROSZ: The White House.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A busy street in downtown Chicago was closed off after police...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Spotted a suspicious object, which turned out to be blank.

GROSZ: It was a drunken Cubs fan fighting a drunken White Sox fan...

SAGAL: No.

GROSZ: ...In one of those hamster balls - you let me finish.

SAGAL: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. But that would be great. No. It was a can of Chef Boyardee on wheels.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You can't - you know, sure. It turned out to be harmless. But you know the old slogan - if you Chef Boyar-see something, Chef Boyar-say something.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police had completely cordoned off the street before realizing that the suspicious mechanical object was a can of pasta on wheels that a student had made for a school project. In response to the event, the police released an official statement saying, quote, "uh-oh, SpaghettiOs."

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: That's great.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Pete Grosz do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right, eight more points - total of 11. He's climbing up there.

SAGAL: All right. Now...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...I have chosen Roxanne to go last because I know how much she likes to come up from behind. How many does she need to win?

KURTIS: Four to tie, five to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. Following a meeting with President Trump, Democratic leaders announced a $2 trillion plan to improve blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Infrastructure.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Naruhito, the new emperor of blank, formerly took the throne.

ROBERTS: The new emperor of Japan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week Venezuelan opposition leader Juan Guaido said he doesn't have enough military backing to oust current president blank.

ROBERTS: Maduro.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the U.S. women's national team announced their roster for the 2019 blank.

ROBERTS: World Cup.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: When Vice President Pence gave a speech on the USS Harry Truman on Tuesday, sailors say they were instructed to blank when he arrived.

ROBERTS: To pray.

SAGAL: No. To, quote, "clap like we're at a strip club."

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Mike Pence.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: With $1.2 billion in ticket sales, the latest movie in the blank series smashed opening weekend records.

ROBERTS: "Avengers: Endgame."

SAGAL: Yes. On Tuesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Maine became the first state to ban food containers made of blank.

ROBERTS: Styrofoam.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An employee at a Domino's in Houston was cited for assault...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After he punched a co-worker who blanked.

ROBERTS: Stole his pizza?

SAGAL: No, after he spoiled the end of the new "Avengers" movie.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Officers say the employee punched his co-worker in the chest after he revealed...

GROSZ: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Massive spoilers about "Avengers: Endgame" during their shift. Sadly, the spoilers didn't end there. And this is totally true. The arresting officers' police report also spoiled the movie for anyone who read it.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Because it said in there, this is what the person said to the other person?

SAGAL: Yeah. The officer has since tried to backpedal, saying that he made all the spoilers up, just like Kevin Spacey's character made up that whole story at the end of "The Usual Suspects."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win this time?

KURTIS: I think so - six right, 12 more points - 15 wins.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.